Relentless Love 

It's officially Valentine's Day in the USA!

I feel grateful.

God has been moving in my life in such a special way that I am overwhelmed. One night when I was going through a rough time I prayed that He would "hold my hand." The next morning I woke up to this verse, "I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. "I am the Lord; that is My name! I will not yield My glory to another or My praise to carved idols. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them" (Isaiah 42:6-9). Wow. There are no coincidences with God. It's so beautiful to think that He perfectly timed that verse to enter my life at just the moment in time when it would be proof that He answers prayers and deeply desires to hold our hand. Feeling loved...

A conversation with God...

Sometimes loneliness or past hurt will well up inside me and I wonder why people act the way they do. Were they neglectful or intentionally hurtful?* Could different behavior have lessened the inevitable pain that brokenness brings? So God and I have a conversation that goes something like this: Me: "God, I'm tired of this brokenness. I don't understand how someone can be so close to you and then just disappear from your life without explaining why or checking on you. How is it that so many people in my life have done this to me?" God: "I will never leave you or forsake you. I'm with you forever. I promise." Me: "God, I'm tired of guys who won't fight for me or go out of their way to try to be with me. Why is our relationship only important when it doesn't cost anything, take extra effort, or isn't inconvenient?" God: "I died for you. I died so that we can be together forever. I died so that you can be free. I died so that you can have joy, peace, love, etc... Our relationship was never going to happen if I didn't make a huge sacrifice --so I did it. No one, no one could ever sacrifice more to be with you. I am the eternal God who resides in the Heavens, but I chose to come down to earth, take on a human body, live here amongst My creation without receiving My proper respect. I was mocked, humiliated, persecuted, tortured, and died one of the cruelest, most painful deaths imaginable. Why? Because I wanted to be with YOU. I wanted to remove that barrier to our relationship. I wanted to be with YOU forever. You are mine."Speechless.

I am in awe of a God who loves me so much. I feel treasured. I feel ashamed to think that the very thing that I was looking for in earthly human love was always there--being overlooked--in heavenly love. And yet He awes me again because I realize that not everyone has these intimate conversations with Him. It is what I needed and what He gave, His gift to me. His love manifested in the details.







*I should probably clarify that these musings weren't about one person in particular, but about the collective experiences in life that I've experienced. The first question can include friends or even family at times while the second question is obviously only about my dating experience.